Sometimes what you don't ask for you get in abundance

My Dad was never short of parental anecdotes. Coming from a Jamaican family there were a number of ones I heard that are distinctly Jamaican and I've thrown one in just for fun as I don't want to confuse people.

Some of my favourite parent anecdotes that I always knew was coming

  • "If all your friends jump off a cliff, would you?"
  • "What part of No, don't you understand"
  • "As long as you live under this roof..." (you know the rest)
  • "When I was your age..."
  • "Because I said so"
  • "If you don't hear you'll feel"
  • "Wise monkey know wha tree fi climb" translation (choose your goals/battles carefully)

Now, I can't make fun because being a father of 4 kids I'm probably guilty of the majority of famous parental anecdotes.

There was one specific anecdote that annoyed me at first growing up. It was "If you don't ask you don't get". I had assumed this meant as long as I ask I could get it. Right! NO. was I wrong. It didn't happen all the time but it did happen some of the time and it's served me well.

In my career in sales that statement rang true and helped me close more deals than any one piece of sales advise early in my career. As I moved into account management and began working on my personal development I noticed an even more powerful principle than 'the ask'. It was something always close to my faith but I had never translated into business.

It is the the power of giving first. This might seem obvious to many but early in my sales career it just hadn't crossed my mind.

I now refer to giving as the 'ultimate reverse ask' because it delivers more potential long term pay back than any request to ask I've experienced. Let me explain.  The more I gave in value, gratitude, empathy and time from the right motives, in the right place the more I would get back in relationships, results and reward. 

Don't get me wrong. You should always continue to ask but many of you will recognise the principle of giving than receiving. I don't mean giving away for the sake of giving and to everything and everyone. This is about intentional giving to the purpose of benefiting someone else.  It is the principle and testimony of the majority of the most successful and wealth people on the planet. The principle of giving.

Zig Ziglar famously said "if you will help as many people in the world get what they want, you'll get everything you want" 

In order to make giving a response of who you not a reaction to an expectation. Here are three ways you can exercise the power of "the reverse ask" in your business today. 

  • Look for one opportunity a day to give to the benefit of your colleagues, peers or managers.
  • Look for one opportunity a week to give to the benefit of your customers.
  • Look for one opportunity a month to give to the benefit of your community

All of these actions will complete transform your relationships and results.

What next?

If you're a key account manager, manager of key account teams or consultant concerned with the strategic growth and management of high value customers then discover how I'm helping people like you transform their customer relationships and sales results. Get access to the customer growth emails series and insight newsletter HERE  or go to 

Jermaine Edwards

Founder of the Key Account Hack System - New Key Account thinking that transforms customer relationships and creates predictable sales growth.