Have you ever had one of those days when you do something great but somebody shoots it down? What about the presentation that bombed and you never want to see another auditorium again. A childhood swimming accident that has kept you from fully experiencing life with more freedom.
We all have those confidence shaking moment. All what I described above was my personal story. These were stories I held on to that made me overly sensitive to others opinion of me and kept from becoming who I knew I could become as a professional.
For some people have developed what I call the ‘so what muscle’. The so what muscle is the ability to re shape moments of failure into feedback and fuel. You can then make adjustments and get back to try it again. Importantly...
The ‘so what’ professional uses specific tools to enable them to retain confidence in their ability and personal self-worth.
We don’t have to suffer for years unconsciously hiding, avoiding risk, failure and unease.
If there is one thing I've recognised. When we hold on to those confidence shaking moments it limits our ability to grow. Instead we need to discover helpful tools, practice better thinking supported by clear and accurate value of our worth person we’re becoming.
I want to share five really practical and personal tools I discovered learning from experts that have helped me become a ‘so what professional.
Stolen from Tony Robbins. Before every event or talk Tony Robbins does he jumps on a trampoline. To many this might look strange. Tony realises that our physiology impacts our state (the way we show up). We need to shake off the potential harming chemicals like the stress hormone cortisol in times where we feel anxious or our confidence is low. Something as simple as stretching, breathing in and out slowly or walking has shown to be very effective to bouncing back from low confidence moments.
Get in your head to get out of your way
You have to acknowledge, not ignore or suppress where you lack confidence in. Name it, reframe it and take one positive action towards building a new experience with it. Remember that the situations we face are given meaning from the emotions we give it. You get to choose what emotions you have and where they are appropriate. The more you practice this the better you'll be in getting your mind and body to respond in a different way. Once you identify the confidence block it’s the first start to change.
Get realistic and take the pressure off
Many people believe you need to feel confident everywhere and with everything. Take the pressure off. Confidence is not a feeling but a quality you choose and not something that happens by chance. It is something that you develop and make a conscious choice to have as part of your character. It’s a muscle. Sometimes developing confidence can take time. Know that its ok not to have complete certainty about everything because no one does. Especially when you're doing something for the first time. Being a confident person is about the gradual pursuit of knowing yourself and choosing to serve rather than continual self-observe.
Get inspired and Get grateful
In some cases you may need a confidence hack. Posturing and body language from the work of Havard professor Amy Cuddy or playing your favourite song and practising gratitude are great places to start. Choose one of these hacks. In fact the moment you feel the sense of low confidence think of one thing you're truly grateful for. It will completely disrupt potential self sabotaging thinking.
Get knowledge and change your mind
The education of confidence says its both a science and an art, Where you go for your information makes a difference.
I find it interesting that in the Bible it says - 2 Timothy 1:7; “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but He has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind, discipline and self-control”.
Often the greatest revelations about ourselves come in the pursuit of realising whats possible. If that particular scripture is true then we have the capacity, power and ability to transform ourselves to achieve great things no matter what our state or circumstance. I believe that to be the truth. Question is do you?
What practice resonated most with you? You don't need to use them all but try one and let me know how you experience it.
If you're a key account manager, consultant or sales leader who recognises the continued importance to master deepening, differentiating and growing your key client relationships. Get in touch and let’s see where we can work together HERE
Founder of the Key Account Hack System - New Key Account thinking that transforms customer relationships and creates predictable sales growth.