Have you ever had one of those days when you do something great but somebody shots it down as nothing. Or may be you've experienced a day when you have to face a situation where you failed once and you have to face it again. The presentation that bombed and you never want to see that auditorium again.
I've experienced all three and more. In those moments it can be confidence shaking. For some its just something that happens and you move on but I believe for most people can take years to recover unconsciously hiding and avoiding risk, failure and unease.
If there is one thing I've recognised in my life and in life in general. Holding those confidence shaking moments as a crutch only limits your ability to grow. Instead you need to find a way to use it as a lever to propel you into the person you can become beyond that moment.
I want to share 5 really practical real personal tips to authentic and nurtured confidence I've learnt and discovered other very confident people do.
We need to shake off the potential harming chemicals like the stress hormone cortisol in times where we feel anxious or our confidence in low. Something as simple as stretching, breathing in and out slowly or walking as some sort of exercise has shown to be very effective to bouncing back from low confidence moments.
Get in your head to get out of your way
Don't be afraid to really acknowledge what it is that you feel less confident or potentially anxious about. Don't ignore it or try to suppress it. Name it then reframe it. Remember the your emotions have on you are directly related to the meaning you give it. If you've lost someone its ok to feel sad but if you've just lost its ok to acknowledge your disappointment but teach yourself to interpret it differently. Try saying "That was disappointing but I wonder what I could learn from it today". The more you practice this the better you'll be getting your mind and body to respond in a different way.
Get realistic and take the pressure off
Don't think you need to be confident everywhere and with everything. Take the pressure off. Confidence is not something that happens by chance. It is something that you develop and make a conscious choice to have as part of your character. Developing confidence can and will take time. I'd say it would be unhealthy to be overconfident. Often those that are take very dangerous risks that harm themselves and others. Know that its ok not to have complete certainty about everything because no one does. Especially when you're doing something for the first time. Its the gradual pursuit of a more confident you that makes the difference.
Get inspired and Get grateful
Do something immediately that you know can get your mind into a better state. This could be playing your favourite song. Calling a friend or what I encourage is practicing gratitude. In fact the moment you feel the sense of low confidence think of one thing you're truly grateful for. It will completely disrupt potential negative thinking.
Get knowledge and change your mind
The education of confidence says its both a science and an art, Where you go for your information makes a difference. I find it interesting that in the Bible it says - 2 Timothy 1:7; (Amplified Version) “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but He has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind, discipline and self-control”. Often the greatest revelations about ourselves come in the pursuit of realising whats possible. If that particular scripture is true then we have the capacity, power and ability to transform ourselves to achieve great things no matter what our state or circumstance. I believe that to be the truth. Question is do you?
Note: What practice resonated most with you. You don't need to use them all but try one and let me know how you experience it.
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Founder of the Key Account Hack System - New Key Account thinking that transforms customer relationships and creates predictable sales growth.