Blame. A trait every human being on the planet has exercised at least once. Some of us for FAR too long. I've come to believe that blame is one of the most destructive traits to the results we have in our life and success we can think of.
We may have all experienced those crushing moments where we had no control over the outcome. We got sick, We lost our home, a series people you love dies. This would all reflect parts of my life in the last 12 years.
Then there are the situations within our control. The deal we lost, the relationship that went sour and the colleague you wont forgive because he made that mistake on the proposal.
Blame would have us believe that all of these moments are situations happening to us rather than events we can participate in and choose to respond to rather than react.
Blame has a way of infiltrating our thinking causing us to stay in negative inaction rather than positive reflection and then positive action.
How do you know your entertaining blame?
Watch your words?
- If he didn't...
- If she hadn't...
- If the economy...
- If the client...
Pay attention to how you treat others?
- I'm not working with her because... (Unforgiveness)
- Don't work with him because (Gossip)
How to get out of blame?
Take responsibility (you are Response Able)
You have every ability to take control of your thoughts, emotions and actions. If there is something I've learnt even in the most difficult of times. There is always a choice. Some may believe its easier to take the blame route. In the end it costs you more than the event itself.
Don't hold on to the situation. Make it an event not a show-reel
The worse thing we can do is hold on to that moment of discomfort, pain and disappointment in that blaming situation. Learn the lesson of letting go. How? use an affirming statement like. "I'm glad that I can learn from this so I can be empowered to become more of the person I want to be". Really simple but powerful. Say it often and in your own words you can choose a statement that is based on a feeling you want, a goal or skill. Replace the end statement with 'becoming more caring/collaborative/wise". Whatever you feed your thoughts you will become.
Recognise your influence and stay focused on growth
I shared this on a previous post. You have to learn to OWN YOU. Everything about you says that you are uniquely designed to handle it. How do I know this? because we all have the choice to shift our perspective. You have to stay on growth. You have personal influence to decide to continue to grow into something that flourishes and not become a weed to yourself and others. Stay focused on growth.
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